Things in my life.

Yesterday, as I washed the floors in my bathroom a very odd thought came to mind.

If reincarnation does exist, what "thing" would I definitely not want to be in the "next" life?

1. A toilet plunger.
2. A vacuum cleaner.

(Whoever, invented the first was a genius. How else would you get the ":(" out when is stuck?

What I would want to be, if reincaranation existed and I chosed to be a "thing".

1. A blanket.
2. A cup.

The last two is because "someone" will always be with me and carrying me around.

Idiotic, I know!

What are yours?

Have a good day everyone?

Ivy

Finding yourself.

There are times that I feel as I am travelling through life to an unknown destination. I have looked at my personal goals and often I feel that I will not reach them.

As if I was stuck in the "triangle pose" in yoga, just in between.

I don't feel my age. I have responsibilities to tend that goes beyond my years. And at the same time, I don't feel as young as I am.

Again, I feel in between.

Right around my birthday I review what my life has been like through that year. And although I feel satisfy, I always feel that I need to do so much more.

I have come to peace with how I look. I would visualize a different nose, a bit taller, more thinner. But not anymore.

I am who I am physically and I am fine with it.

But when it comes to a "professional" career I feel that I am missing something. What it is, I really don't know.

I am satisfied being a working from home stay-at-home Mom. And I know for sure that this is what I need to do for my daughter's well being. Specially since she will be me my only one.

But still I feel as I am missing part of a limb. I don't quite no where I belong.

I don't want to be 20 again. But I want to feel like I am still in my 20's. I want to feel fun, carefree, goal oriented, and living for more.

I feel as my 30's has been doubled and taken me to an age where I am not supposed to be yet.

I am in between.

I don't relate to my "few" single friends. I don't relate to a "few" corporate status friends. I don't relate to friends from years past.

But I am fine with those that I have acquired since I entered Motherhood.

I am in search of a steady belief. Although, God is big enough, I have lost Him somewhere.

I want to search and study new beliefs. Because the ones that I have so far have not steady me.

I am hormonal and too young to feel the "changes" of life. But those changes have arrived faster than I like.

I no longer want to change my husband. Not sure if this is good or bad. I want to "look" at me.

So again I am in search of myself.

Not sure where I am supposed to head to. Not to sure if this is what I am supposed to be.

I never believed in fairy tales. Nor did I had my life completely planned out. Nor do I believe in true happy endings. That is just for the movies and Disney books.

I have experienced a new level of maturity. That much I do know.

But I am not ready for those life changing decisions. Perhaps, I am still 20 when I went through life without tracing a long term plan.

I have still not made up my mind who I will be when I grow up. But one thing I know for sure, before I know it, I will be there. Whether, I have grown or not.

Have a blissful night everyone.


Still in search of me,
Ivy

Bye bye kindergarten.

Today it was Dani's last day of school of her kindergarten year.

I remember the first day of day of school when I walked her to class. I sat her down at her table and kissed her goodbye. Dani was acting as such a strong big girl. And I was tearing up.

Having her in school was very hard at the beginning. I complained about it daily. But I had to give it a shot.

Alot happened during this school year.

She grew a bit taller. Gained a few pounds. Lost two teeth. Began reading chapter books. Got bullied by a girl. Made a few good friends. Attended a few field trips riding in a big yellow bus. Had tons of homework. Took swimming lessons. And had a very cool and sweet teacher.

As we finished her class party and began saying our good byes. She saw her special friend and they both began to hug and cry together.

My heart broke for her, but I felt pleased. She made a special bond with a little girl that she will no longer see. This little girl will be going to another school.

She cried all the way home. She said she did not want to be a big girl and move on to another grade. Today she wanted to stay in kindergarten forever just to be with that special friend.

I am happy that she has found her way to friendship. Little does she know that this is the first of many hugs and good byes.

I am looking forward to Summer and making new memories.....

A great night to all.

Ivy

The Turtle & the Dogs

Sitting in my home office and I listened to my dogs barking insatiably. I peeked outside looking for a strange car, but saw nothing.

They continued barking to get someones attention. They got mine instead.

As I stepped outside quietly, I looked around trying to see who or what they were barking at.

Searched and searched and saw nothing. Suddenly, there was a movement.

As I got ready to dash inside, I quickly noticed a brownish greenish turtle shell.

STOP, I yelled to my dogs.

I began to walk away so that my dogs would follow. It worked.

I was terrified that they would bite or chew on the poor turtle. I know what they are capable of doing, so I feared the worse.

Good it worked I said to myself, as I walked back to my office.

A few minutes have passed when I heard the same bark. This time at a distance.

I walked to the front of my home and saw the turtle, again. This time "it" was at an open angle awaiting to be attacked by my fearless crazy dogs. I thought to myself how great it would be that the turtle would bite them instead.

I waved my thoughts away and hurried inside to get the camera. Snap, there, I took a picture of an animal that my daughter would love to have as a pet. This time, I walked inside calling out for my dogs.

They ran out to the back in searched of me. I watched the turtle hurry itself across the lawn to to a shady tree.

Good, it made it.

I watched that small turtle and I saw myself.

With no fear to what the outcome will be.

Just determination!

Enjoy your day.

Ivy

Value

What holds value in your eyes?

Your home?
Your Car?
Your expensive watch?

Or it can I narrow it down a bit to:

Your life?
Your time?
You?

However we decide to answer this question, the truth of value holds in what you seek at the moment.

For some is the hard earning home we have worked so hard for. For others, is the time spent with those that are no longer around.

Seek within yourself right now and ask, what holds value to me at this moment?

For me?

Is life.