Ramblings on motherhood.

I was able to meet up with a friend that I have not seen in quite a bit. For some reason this time of the year I tend to run into good old friends.

Anyhow, she and I share the struggle of being an only child parent. Struggle? Yes, it is quite a struggle because we are Moms of an only child, not by choice, but fate.

As a parent of an only child, we tend to over compensate and under compensate constantly. There is not a comparing bar on what we are doing right or we are doing wrong. When you have more than one, you can say, "with the first one, I did it this way. Now let me do it differently this time around." We tend to be extremely observant of the famous milestones. There is a constant worry if you child is getting it right.

And we get only one chance at it.

We have a strong desire in our hearts to have a "cumoungous" (as Dani would say it) family but we have been blessed with only one.

And it is quite interesting sharing our dreams as well as our fear for our children.

I am an OCP (Obsessive Compulsive Parent) that needs to know "everything" in regards to Dani. I am quite passionate about her, as you might tell.

But I see to often that when a parent is not involved in their child's life, that child will not be successful.

Now, I do not measure success with monetary gain. Nor I am saying that simply because we are parents that automatically categorize all of us the same.

I hear parents complain constantly about their children's school activities. And it truly breaks my heart. Because we can lead them to God at home, but the moment they set foot at school, they can be led away. And it doesn't matter whether is a christian school or not. Now I am able to see and experience both sides of the spectrum.

In my case, I am experiencing the age of innocence. I love that she is naive, she has a clean mind and heart, and she knows no wrong.

She can not grasp why are people bad, and what do they look like. ( In my mind I try to think like her and picture what bad people should look like!)

She has a lifetime of adulthood. And a very short time of innocence. And I will make sure that I guard it with all of my might.

But I know that I don't have to do this alone. God lent her to me, so I know that He loves her far more than I could. (hard to grasp that). And I know that as long as her heart overflows with love for Him, her heart will remain pure.

I am realizing that my yoke is getting a little bit heavy these days with motherhood. And I think I need to hand it over.

Good Sunday to all.

Unleashed Fears

This morning I ran into a friend of a friend. We gather each other and briefly put our last 13 years of our lives into an uninterrupted without gasping for air conversation.

There is where I learned the fate of our friend's daughter. See that friend and I worked together at a government office. I was going to be her maternity leave replacement. Soon we became close and cherished each other's company. She was married with a beautiful 7 year old daughter and one on the way. I was young, naive, and dumb.

I found out today that her beautiful daughter fell doing a dance routine last year. She thought that she had sprained her ankle. Took her to ER, and checked out ok. A day later she died. Apparently a blod clot developed on her leg from the fall. And it went straight to her heart.

Momentarily I sat still and thought of her. What can she be feeling? I can not possibly imagine.

And there, I began to feel these horrible fears. I have an only child. I can not see my life without her, my joy.

How can parents get through the day when they have lost their child I ask myself?

I guess they don't. Each day brings it's own struggle, it's own fear. Lord I ask, where are you when a mother buries their child. Where are you when the doctor comes out and tells you "we did everything possible". Where are you when there is an empty room full of memories and their sweet smell.

Yea, you are there. Unchanged. I pray for Dani Lord. Guard her, Bless her, Keep her safe wrapped in your arms, but next to me Father. I love to hear her breathe. I love to feel her heartbeat. Leash the Fear Father.

I pray for my friend's heartache.

Good night all.

Joys of motherhood.

Those who really know me, know one thing: I am NOT a procrastinator. I am one often does more in advance "just in case" something comes up.

The past few days has been hectic for me. And I offered to bring in 4 pumpkins for my daughter's class. I waited, and waited, and waited so long that pumpkins are non existent today in South Florida. I guess we South Floridians thinks that pumpkins are only useful for Halloween. Forgetting that we can also use them for Autumn Harvest.

Anyhow, I found myself in trouble because I no longer could not find them. And when I promise, I like to deliver.

I called all my food distributors, and nothing. Checked all the local groceries, and......nothing. Finally I found a rackitty tangitty place near Egypt so called Farmer's Market and voila there they were!

I have never been so pleased to carry those huge orange what to do with them pumpkins. I nearly consumed my gas tank in the process. (exaggerating here) But what made it all worth it was my daughter hopping in the car and saying "Mom those pumpkins were cumoungous ("humongous") and I knew you would find them".

That simple acknowledgement from my daughter made it all worth it....

Simple things that bring us joy in motherhood.

A new day in America.

This morning as I drove my daughter to school she carefully asked. Is the world a better place now Mommy with President Obama?

To which I replied: I really hope so.

Without a doubt last night's results was historic. Being born in Communist Cuba I can say that the possibility of someone like Barack Obama being president was and is non existent.

I am an adopted daughter of this magnificent country, not by birth but by certification. I can see how many barriers has been undone and with this victory all is possible.

We, as a united country have surpassed racism not only in skin color, but in ethnic background as well.

The people of this country no longer holds the doubt that a person of dark skin and a mixed background can become a President of this great nation.

I recall being in 3rd grade and being called a refugee because I did not know the English language. We have come a long way.

I like to believe that Racism in America is finally abolished.

Now, we must pray for this first family and embrace the changes that we will have. Changes that will challenge our level of comfort. Changes that we must have in order to continue holding the title of the best Country of this world. A country where all is possible and we all come in search of the American Dream.

I know my family did since the late 1960's. And I do believe one way or another, that we have arrived in reaching that Dream. Living in a democratic country that respects the democratic process and its outcome.

Is a good day to be American. Whether is by birth or certification.

I loved the way President Obama phrased it. "We are not Blue or Red States, We are the United States of America."

Good day to all.

VOTE VOTE VOTE!

No excuses. Just Vote. Be Heard. Just Vote. Don't complain. Just Vote.

http://www.rockthevote.com/

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http://www.barackobama.com/index.php